NOT a Creature in a Sci-Fi Movie

Galactagogue: an agent that promotes the secretion of milk.

So, NOT this:

but THIS:

And with that, I hereby establish the new "Learn Something New Every Day" category.

Thank goodness.

Big brother helps
Originally uploaded by knights_writes

Here's a photo from this weekend, when Mae got some bottle practice. This was Arlo's first time helping to feed the baby, and he felt very proud and grown up indeed.

I thought it seemed like a pretty good photo to accompany the news that Mae is now letting Tata feed her at day care! Yesterday Mae took a bottle from Tata for the first time, with only minimal hesitation reportedly, and by the end of the day she had consumed 13 ounces of expressed milk, all told.

Whew!

Bottles, Bullets

• Mae drank expressed breast milk from a bottle multiple times over the weekend--mostly from Ted but also a couple of times from me. All day on Saturday, I pumped instead of nursing, and she willingly (with some initial coaxing) bottle-fed until I offered her the breast again at 5:00. We figured this approach would mimic what she needs to be doing at day care, while not completely robbing us both of our precious mom-n-baby nursing time. I hope that our success with bottle feeding bodes well for her return to day care tomorrow.
• Tomorrow? Why tomorrow, you ask? Macy had a temperature of 100.5 degrees at 4:30 this morning. We dosed her with Tylenol, and her fever was completely gone at 9:00 (the reading was 98.2 by then), but now we have to wait out the required 24 hours fever-free before she can return to Tata's.
• On Saturday night (perhaps worn out from a full day of remedial bottle feeding, or perhaps finally satiated by a full day of regular feedings after a five-day hunger strike), Macy slept "through the night." By which I mean that she slept for almost eight hours straight, going down for the night around 9 p.m. and not awaking to feed again until nearly 5 a.m.!
• Another milestone: this morning, just after Ted got home to relieve me from baby duty and send me off to work, Macy rolled from her back to her side. She may have pushed off Ted's legs with her feet (he was sitting on the floor at her feet), but she did not have any active assistance to accomplish this feat.
• Today I'm wearing pants that fit me before my pregnancy, and they are not Fat Pants. They do fit a little more snugly than they did last year, but I am pulling it off and feeling very encouraged about the baby pooch that still juts out over the pants. As I told Ted, "my ass is back!"

Blogging by way of e-mail

The bottle-refusal saga continues...

I sent the following e-mail to writermom this morning, in response to her inquiry about Macy's progress. After rereading it, I realized that it makes a perfectly suitable blog post, so here it is. Consider yourself in the loop.

Ugh. Still not a drop!

However, I did talk to the doc last night, and she was completely cool about it. She said that as long as Mae is still making wet and dirty diapers (Definitely so—you would not BELIEVE the bomb she dropped in her diaper last night! Level 3 Code Brown.) and as long as she continues to grow and act normally, we should, in her words, “leave her alone.”

She’ll start eating when she needs to, Sarah says, and even then she might only take a bottle from Tata once a day. As long as she’s getting what she needs during the other hours of the day, she’ll be just fine.

All of which is supremely comforting, but also exasperating because it does not provide me with a plan of action.

I also talked to the lactation consultant yesterday afternoon, and she gave me some ideas and tricks to try out next week, including things like trying a syringe or cup like you suggested. In the mean time, we are going to offer her the bottle as much as possible this weekend, though it will be a challenge since Ted will probably be out in the snow for at least half of the weekend. Phooey.

Hmmmm. I think I’ll just take this e-mail and copy it into my blog as today’s update! You’re the first to know!

Hunger Strike

Well, Mae has now gone three full days without taking a drop of milk from the bottle offered to her at day care. I'm trying not to freak out.

She has taken expressed breast milk from a bottle for Ted on a few occasions, without much of a fuss, so we didn't think she'd need training. Now I wish we had given her more practice!

Tata says she's offering the bottle about every hour, and we have tried a number of different bottle and nipple combinations. This morning I even brought a burp cloth soaked with my breast milk, in hopes that the scent will stimulate Mae's hunger and desire to suck.

Now I also have calls in to the doctor and a lactation consultant (waiting for return calls) and am feeling my anxiety mount, even as I endeavor to stay calm.

Advice, anyone?

Air Guitar

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Originally uploaded by knights_writes

My baby is a rock star.

Get Behind the Mule

As Tom Waits says, "You gotta get behind the mule in the mornin' and plow." That's just what I did this morning, re-entering the workforce with as much grace and dignity as I could muster.

The drop-off was relatively painless. I tried to be quick about it, to rip the band-aid off, so to speak. When I left Tata's house, I left behind two happy little humans, which is about as good a situation as I could hope for. Well, truth be told, I actually left behind four happy little humans, if you count the Boelk twins (Carver and Kinnick, the matching bookends flanking Arlo in the photo above). Tata and Tato (her hubby, Pat) had the foresight to have a bunch of new toys on hand for the boys this morning, so Arlo was happy and distracted during the drop-off period, which gave me a few minutes to talk with Tata about Mae and her first big day--without him needing my attention.

As you can see, Mae's First Day at Tata's was a festive and happy affair, and I only shed a few crocodile tears before taking a deep breath and heading to the office. Amazingly enough, I made it to my desk by about 8:15, for which I gave myself a sound pat on the back.

Mae had a pretty good day, I suppose. She was happy as long as Tata was holding her (hmmm, sound familiar?) and pretty relaxed--but she wouldn't take milk from a bottle yet today. Ted has given her small amounts of expressed milk from a bottle, so we know she knows how to do it... guess she just has to get a little hungrier before she'll take it from a new person. Part of me feels good about that, actually. Arlo took to his bottle feedings so quickly as an infant (also with Tata, beginning at 8 weeks old) that as a new mom, I felt kind of slighted and insignificant. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't want Macy's hunger strike to last more than a day or two, but it does make me feel important and special to have my baby (poor thing, though!) go all day without an ounce of milk because she'd just as soon wait for her mommy, thank you very much.

I hope I'm not tempting fate by saying so. I've had my moment, and now I hope that she will eat for Tata tomorrow. As for tonight, I'm thinking I'll be awake every two hours (or less) feeding her through the night. Stay tuned!

The End

Well, today is my last day at home with Mae on maternity leave. But if you're picturing a long and languorous mom-and-baby farewell, a morning of coos and cuddles, with sunlight streaming in our living room window, you've got the wrong idea.

The day started out okay, with a happy baby and a happy boy waking up at about 6:45. I got breakfast for everyone and then Arlo helped me wrestle Presley (our Himalayan cat) into her carrier for a trip to the vet. Ahem, I mean, the salon. She goes in a couple of times a year for a lion cut, when months of not-often-enough grooming have left her coat in tangles.

The trip to the Cat Clinic was fine; Mae fell asleep in the car (oh glory!) and only woke up to squawk a few times as we got Presley checked in for her appointment. She also snoozed through a stop to get cat food and dropping off Arlo at day care--perhaps a whopping 25 minutes, all told.

And then...

Macy and I got home, where I was expecting her nap to continue for at least another hour. Okay, at least another half-hour. But she awoke, squalling, and I did my best to tend to her. I changed her, nursed her again, and cuddled with her until she dozed off in my arms. Five minutes later, she awoke with a start, screaming, and from there things just did not improve.

I know when she gets this way, her eyes rimmed with red, and all my efforts to soothe her in vain, she just needs to sleep. But she's got it in her head that there must be something else missing, that she simply cannot just go to sleep and get it over with. I waffle between the cry-it-out approach and the attachment parenting approach (I know, that's a big sticky waffle), alternately leaving her to cry herself to sleep and breaking down in agony to pick her up and try (usually unsuccessfully) soothing her or nursing her.

I spent 90 minutes this morning in this pattern, until finally I put her in her crib, rubbed her back for 5 minutes, and then put myself in the shower, where I couldn't hear her caterwauling (at least not very well) for 10 minutes. She was still crying when I finished my shower, but her eyes were closed and I was feeling a little more sane.

Finally, I did something I know I'm not supposed to do, but something I know she likes, and I rolled her onto her tummy. A few hiccups, a prolonged snuffle, and she was quiet. Now she sleeps, though God only knows for how long.

This is not the idyllic snugglefest I envisioned for my last day of full-time mommyhood, but them's the breaks. I hate to say it, but I think I'm ready to go back to work.

Great Big Heavy Sigh

It's all too real now that this is my last week of maternity leave. I've started taking baby supplies (diapers, wipes, changes of clothes, etc.) over to Tata's house already, so that I don't have to lug everything over on Monday. And tomorrow I'm going to set my alarm for 6 a.m. to see if I can have all three of us ready for the day by 7:30 a.m...

Sigh.

TMCF, part II

IMG_0689
Originally uploaded by knights_writes

Arlo went to the salon on Tuesday. You can see more pics, including official before-and-after shots (this is "during") on my flickr site.

Thursday Morning Cute Fix

IMG_0703
Originally uploaded by knights_writes

'nuff said.

Fat Chance

Baby Mae is napping on a blanket on the living room floor, and I just had a shower, poured myself a cup of coffee, and painted my nails. Why the nails? Well, I caught sight of a bottle of nail polish on the bedside table, and it seemed like a good idea. A little something nice for me, to make me feel like a girl again, and not just a pair of milk-producing breasts. I thought it'd be nice to pretend, for just a day, that my hands are here for something more than just diaper changing and folding the laundry.

What are the chances that this coat will dry before the baby wakes up, crying for a meal?

First smile!

IMG_0558
Originally uploaded by knights_writes

This is a shot from the afternoon play session wherein I got to see Macy's first Bona Fide Smile... meaning, one that could not be dismissed as a "sleep smile" or passed off (ha) as "gas."

Sharing the shot with Mae are Jen K-F, who came over to give me some grown-up social time and to commiserate about having a fussy baby; and G-Raffe, a beloved friend from Arlo's infancy, whom he very generously gave to Mae for her very own. It was G-Raffe (wielded by Mom) who elicited the first smile--this picture was taken a few minutes later as we diligently tried to coax out another one.

Worth Every Second

IMG_0574
Originally uploaded by knights_writes

This is not her first smile--that happened a couple of weeks ago (story and pictures to follow)--but it is one of the first real wide-mouth, beaming, giddy smiles we've seen thus far. The photo is not the greatest, but the look on her face is, so I share it with you regardless of technical excellence or lack thereof. I was dangling a toy with my right hand while snapping the shot with my left.

A pattern emerging?

Mae had another whine-a-thon yesterday, much like the Sunday I blogged about a couple of weeks ago. She cried, whimpered, and fussed all day--except for when I was walking around the house with her, gently bouncing up and down. Even her nursing sessions were not altogether peaceful, as she'd often break her latch, pull away, grimace, and cry for a few seconds at a time while my milk continued to spray in her face. (Was that too graphic?) Her naps only lasted for 20 minutes at a time, and she absolutely did not appreciate being put down at any point.

Today (as was the case the day after that other horrible day), she has already slept away most of the morning. I keep tiptoeing around, expecting her to wake up cranky... and she sleeps on. (Even typing that, I'm afraid that I am totally jinxing it.)

Tata (Arlo's day care provider, soon to be Mae's also) has asked me to make some notes about Macy's "routine" for when she begins spending her days at Tata's. I'm really not sure how to report this pattern--or even, for sure, if it's a pattern. I guess it's comforting, though... if, indeed, I can come to expect a day of peace after a rough day of constant baby-soothing, I suppose it will make it easier to get through those tough days. Here's hoping that today continues to be the salve for yesterday.

Life, Interrupted

Okay, I'm going to say it. I think Mae has colic.

Waaaaaahhhhhhh!

We're on our second week of mounting fussiness, hours of crying at a time, and a baby who will not abide being put down. Ever. Unless she's asleep. Even then, it's iffy--though at night, she seems to be sleeping relatively well still.

Is it colic? The timing is right. From everything I've read, the symptoms are right: "inconsolable crying, three or more hours at a time, three or more days a week...", but I hesitate to label her as a Colicky Baby before I know for sure. She's not COMPLETELY inconsolable, she just cries if she's not being actively rocked, cooed at, patted, and stroked. Sheeeesh. This weekend the crankiness spilled over from the typical evening endurance test to an all-day whimper marathon. Yesterday was not a good day.

Could it be something else? She's been fighting a cold, so I wonder if she's got some sinus pain or pressure that is making her uncomfortable. She had a diaper rash for a couple of days that could have made her cry. Should I take her to the doctor to rule out something being actually wrong?

I vaguely remember going through a period of time with Arlo when he was tiny when we thought he might have colic. And by most accounts I've heard, if your kid has colic, YOU KNOW IT. Ugh. Maybe I'm in denial, I don't know.

What I do know is, we're doing everything we can to make her happy, and it hasn't been working. I also know that if it is colic, we are in for a rough handful of weeks (I say that because it sounds more surmountable to me than a couple of months), and that it will pass. In the meantime, I am alternately pulling out my hair, shaking my tiny fist at the sky, and crying my eyes out. It kills me that I cannot soothe my own tiny child, whom I love so dearly, and it frustrates me to no end that I cannot for the life of me find the time to do dishes or fold a load of laundry.

I am in complete disarray. Sorry I have not called/written/followed through/been much fun lately. This, too, shall pass.

Grab Hold

Here's a milestone... Macy's First Grab!



She looks completely surprised by the fact that she's holding on to something here, but hey! That's how we all learn, right? My guess is, she was just wiggling around and waving her hands in the air (like she just don't care), and happened to catch hold of one of those link-a-doos. Anyway, this is how I found her.

Thursday morning cute fix

I know, I know, photo blogging is the lazy blogger's fallback, but believe me, I have nothing clever to say today.

Enjoy the show!

Awwwwwwwwwww...

The family bed was full again last night--Arlo between us in the middle of the bed, and Mae swaddled in the co-sleeper next to my side of the bed. Mae awoke just as the sun was coming up this morning, and I nursed her as I drifted in and out of a light sleep. Arlo stirred beside me, rolled over onto his back and rubbed his eyes. He squinted up at me and said, "What are you doing, Mom?"

(Yes, that was "Mom," and not "Mommy." Apparently this is part of the transformation into a big brother/big kid.)

"I'm feeding Macy," I said.

"She's hungry!" answered Arlo.

"Yep," I said, "but she's just about done now."

When Mae pulled away from my breast, I wrapped her up again in a blanket and laid her in the co-sleeper. Wanting to give Arlo some precious one-on-one attention and transition him smoothly from waking to breakfast, I turned to him and said, "Now let's get some breakfast! But first, I need a big hug from my big boy."

"I want a hug from my baby sister," he said.

Yay!

I was all too heppy to oblige. I picked Mae up and placed her in his open arms. He squeezed her just a little bit, and planted a big "mmmmmmmwahhhh!" kiss on her head.

"Now can we have oatmeal?"

Life with Mae, week 2

Story time with Big Bro Arlo--reading a book about being a big brother!

What an attentive audience!

Tiny baby, tiny babysitter: Mae meets Tata for the first time.

I N V U 4 U R A Q T!