Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Wish List Item #622

I'm not sure why I am only inspired this week to share with the world The Things I Want. I don't even have a birthday coming up, it's nowhere near Christmas, and none of these will make appropriate gifts for Arlo's 2nd birthday, which is coming up this Saturday. However...


Okay. One duck is actually saying to the other, "Let me kiss you, sweetie!"

I think.

I mean, I don't speak French-- only enough to know that to say "duck in Francais, you say "conard" without pronouncing the 'd.' And I only know that because of Baby Einstein. By the way, in Espanol, it's "pato."

But that's the translation offered at the totally radical, totally adorable site where I found this lovely tote bag,

I cannot begin to tell you how many items there are on this site would elicit squals of joy and undying devotion if someone purchased them and wrapped them up for me in tissue paper in a polka-dotted box for no reason at all. And yes, every item on this site deserves a polka-dotted box.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Wish List Item #327

There are so many things I want out of life. Here's one of the more trivial ones.

Behold, Jen's Funny Coveted T-Shirt of the Month, available for purchase at

Thanks for listening.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Even Better Than Christina Aguilera's "Dirrty" Video.

For real. This video is now my Favorite of All Time. You simply must watch.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

It sounds neat, but it's really not.

According to the P.A. (physician assistant) at my doctor's office, I may or may not have a condition called labyrinthitis.

I'm thinking:

Woo hoo!

Okay, but in actuality, it's NOT about being addicted to cheesy fantasy films from the mid-1980s. It's more like: inflammation or dysfunction of the vestibular labyrinth (a system of intercommunicating cavities and canals in the inner ear). The syndrome is defined by the acute onset of vertigo, commonly associated with head or body movement. Vertigo is often accompanied by nausea, vomiting, or malaise.

The good news is, I have no malaise at this point. And I have not hurled. I've just been intermittently dizzy for days on end, with no other symptoms to speak of. If I'm lucky it's being caused by a virus and will go away in a few days.

If I'm even luckier, I've just found myself a new babysitter:


Monday, August 21, 2006

Don't Read This.

Okay. This?

Makes me not want to be a famous blogger.

Or, maybe it makes me want it more than ever. Hate mail is funny!

Friday, August 18, 2006

Rain, Rain, Go Away.

Rainy days make me sad. Not just because they're gloomy (which they are), but because I don't get to ride my scooter to work. I have to be all cooped up in my full-size beige sedan, all dry and bland. Well, you go to work with the car you have, not the car you wish you had.

Yes, I know it's possible to ride a moped in the rain, but I'm not inclined to do so, for more than one reason. Vanity is not the number-one reason. Eyesight is. If I go bare-faced, no matter how lightly it's raining, I get raindrops in my eyes. And not like, you know... ahhhhh, gentle summer rain ... but more like AAAAAAHHHHHH rain coming at my eyeballs at thirty miles per hour WAAAAHHHH!

And, on the flipside, if I wear my sunglasses to keep the rain out... well you can see how foolish that looks. "Duuuude, take of your sunglasses! It's, like, cloudy." Plus, sunglasses do not have windshield wipers. Or a reservoir of cleaning fluid at the ready to swipe off the grime when you're driving along behind a minivan owned by people who live on a gravel road. And no, I do not wish to wear ski goggles or pay my local eye clinic $200 for a pair of sport goggles. (Even $200 googles do not come with wipers, by the way.)

Oh, and I hate people who don't turn on their headlights when it's raining. Because, Duh.

I was not proud of myself when I mentally stepped outside of my car and watched myself flipping my car lights off and on at drivers who did not have their lights on. My mouth set in a stern line, a look of righteous consternation on my face, I (in my mind's eye, catching myself doing it) was a mean old lady with an unnatural need for People To Follow The Rules. It wasn't pretty.

But still! Turn your lights on when it rains!

Oh, and sun? Could you come back, please? It's almost the weekend! I made you a mojito!