Monday, March 17, 2008

Demoralizing


I just returned to my desk from my midday pumping session, wherein I:
  • pumped a very respectable and satisfying 5 ounces of breastmilk

  • then knocked over the bottle and spilled about 4 ounces of it.

Pumping moms and formerly-pumping moms will understand the anguish I experienced at that moment, wishing I could catch the milk somehow as I helplessly watched it spread across the countertop and drip onto the tile floor. The rest of you will just have to imagine how demoralizing it was to mop it up with paper towels and throw it into the trash.

It's hard to explain how precious pumped breastmilk is, and how much heart and soul that pumping moms pour into this job. I'm not asking for a medal. I have chosen to do this for Mae, just like I did it for Arlo--and it's not usually grueling. But it does take energy and commitment, day after day, to keep filling those bottles ... and a bottle lost represents more than just so many ounces of liquid.

Believe me, there were hot tears mixed in with the warm milk as I sopped it up into that wad of paper towels. Mondays are hard enough.

5 comments:

writermom said...

That would've broken my heart. For sure. I spilled an ounce one time and was dejected. You want every little hard-won drop to go into your baby. I read one time that breastmilk is considered white blood. It's a living thing. (Not to add the title "murderess" to your already bad day.) Chin up, though, because you're really doing great!

mark said...

I suspect some dads out there in the midst of fertility treatments (not to mention General Jack D. Ripper) can appreciate the preservation and value of bodily fluids. Hey, at least you have a cool suction device that ensures your milk all gets from you to the collection vessel. *ponders patent application and subsequent retirement to private island....*

Cindy (aka Ms. Mayhem) said...

I can not claim to know how you felt, but your post makes it very clear. I an only imagine the curse words that would have been heard if it happened to me. You do deserve a medal.

Tricia said...

I feel your pain. Whoever said not to cry over spilled milk definately didn't spend a year devoted to pumping.

AndreaLea said...

Oh no! I know how you feel. Stick with it. It's worth it.