Okay, but in actuality, it's NOT about being addicted to cheesy fantasy films from the mid-1980s. It's more like:
...an inflammation or dysfunction of the vestibular labyrinth (a system of intercommunicating cavities and canals in the inner ear). The syndrome is defined by the acute onset of vertigo, commonly associated with head or body movement. Vertigo is often accompanied by nausea, vomiting, or malaise.
The good news is, I have no malaise at this point. And I have not hurled. I've just been intermittently dizzy for days on end, with no other symptoms to speak of. If I'm lucky it's being caused by a virus and will go away in a few days.
If I'm even luckier, I've just found myself a new babysitter: