Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Looking for a square hole for our little square peg...

I want to express my sincere thanks to all of you for your support and input as we've been going through some uncertainty with Mae's situation at daycare.

We had a productive conversation with our childcare provider last night, and came up with some routine tweaks that might help lessen the issues that she is having with Mae's behavior (notice I did not say "Mae's behavior issues"), and we'll just have to wait and see how things go.

The main upshot at this point is that Mae will be staying where she is for the time being, and we are working together to improve the situation. We'll be monitoring things closely, asking detailed and frequent questions about her progress. And we'll belooking into what other options are available, where Mae might find a setting that better suits her as she develops.

I want to be clear that we still feel that our current care provider gives wonderful, loving, and expert care to the children--and we are not suggesting otherwise. She has cared for both of our children since birth (Arlo until he was 4-1/2), and has been a treasured and very important part of our family up until now (which, as an aside, is part of why it cuts deep that we feel she didn't communicate with us on a pretty basic level about what was going on with Mae). Anyway, it just seems like her way of doing things--with a distinct emphasis on keeping with a schedule and doing the same thing every day--though it is very effective and it worked for Arlo--might not be the best fit for Mae's personality as she grows.

We're open to leads and suggestions, whether they are for daycare openings in Iowa City or pointers for collaborating with your child's care provider/teacher/etc. It's not that we're looking for chaos--we just feel like Mae could use a little more flexibility, a little more room to be the independent little firebrand that you KNOW she's destined to be. (Ahem. See the tree from whence the nut came, right?)

Thanks for your love and support for all of us, especially Mae.


mark said...

Suggestion: See if you can scrape together $80 to buy your DP a video camera. Tell her you'd like to see proof of Mae's behavior. Something smells fishy in all this, if you ask me.

Nancy said...

Hi Jen,
Just checking in. As you know Jodie could be and still is a hand full. The fact she is now telling you what is happening means it maybe something new, hard to believe it's been happening since she was a baby. It also may be Mae's way to get attention and not all kids can follow a strict schedule, even adults may find it hard. Does she offer solutions and ideas for how she thinks she can handle it and help Mae. Hang in there it may be a phase, but if Mae is unhappy she may need a different situation. You are an amazing mother so it will work out. Nancy